Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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