so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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