Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
