Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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