literally had 100 drinks last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
