Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
