Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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