my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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