Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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