I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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