My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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