You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
