omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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