false alarm. still invincible.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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