We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
