OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish I only lived at night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
