he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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