After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
