i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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