ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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