He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
