His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
