you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
