Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
