Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
