Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
