If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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