I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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