Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
