Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
