What did we do last night that was yellow?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
