Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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