Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I could have mohawked her pubes.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
