god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
