you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
