That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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