i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
