if i died would you start the facebook group?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
