I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
