I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
