The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
