this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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