How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
