Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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