i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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