if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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