Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
