we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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