I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
