just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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