hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
