people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
no you cant smoke seaweed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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